Anthropocene Essays - Secret Menu Items
By Isaac Worley
The Christian Church often teaches a contrast between two different events: the construction of the Tower of Babel and the Holy Spirit at the Pentecost. Both events serve to demonstrate the Abrahamic God’s power over language, and the second event fulfills the first.
The Tower of Babel was commissioned by Nimrod, a great hunter who reportedly ruled over a large portion of Mesopotamia. When all of humanity spoke the same language, a plan was hatched: create a tower that is large enough to reach Heaven. Likely filled with fear, God caused all of humanity to be spread across the world. At the same time, he forced new languages on different groups; humanity would never perfectly communicate again.
Ever the unreliable promisor, God later gave a brief opportunity for the disciples to communicate with those of all nations. 50 days after Jesus’ death, the disciples received the Holy Spirit on a day now known as Pentecost. Because of the Holy Spirit, the disciples gained the ability to speak and be understood by people from every nation, but the power was brief and only allowed them to communicate about Jesus.
On some level, all of us struggle with communication. We’ve invented tricks to convey meaning better, such as leaving off the period in a text message to sound less serious, but not one of us can say they have never had communication issues. If I ask anyone why their relationship failed, there is a high chance they will explain it was some form of communication issue that weakened the relationship.
We as a people have developed entire fields of study relating to communication — how to improve it and how to exploit it — but our interactions are marred by misinterpretation and confusion. One of our largest achievements as a species has been to create a communication system that allows instant connection between anyone, no matter where from. Instead of leveraging the internet for global interest, corporations use their power to amass unheard of wealth by constantly bombarding users with advertisements and promoted content. I just checked Instagram, and the second post I saw was an ad for Mitsubishi.
Up until the spread of mass media, communication was incredibly limited by means. Now, however, communication capacity is near limitless, and one thing has been revealed: communication is limited less by the tools we use, and more by how we use the tools.
Great orators sometimes find themselves unable to convey thoughts in normal conversations; Mahatma Gandhi overcame his stage fright to inspire a revolution against British imperialism.
Even the best sources of information make mistakes. The Associated Press, a thorough and reliable publisher, often issues corrections or retracts stories.
I often find conflicting advice in regards to public speaking: don’t assume that your audience understands an issue, don’t over explain (you’ll come across as dismissive), don’t be too colloquial, be more relatable, use evidence, use analysis instead of evidence, don’t be too narrow, be more specific, avoid controversial takes, rock the boat.
Do any of us know how to truly communicate? We are constantly bombarded with best practices, but implementation of the lessons seldom gives a noticeable benefit. It seems that any “communication tip” only applies to the person who gives the tip.
Perhaps communication is so difficult because nobody is communicating for the exact same reason. My goals are certainly different from those of the corporations that use communication as a weapon. If I make a statement or ask a question, I surely know exactly what I mean. However, my certainty does not account for differences in experience, knowledge or language itself.
“What can I get for you today?”
“I saw this off menu item on Buzzfeed, can I have that?”
I can respond by asking for clarification, explaining that the item is not on the menu, or offering the closest item I can think of. That doesn’t mean the customer will be satisfied. At this moment, the one asking certainly knows exactly what they want, but I cannot meet their needs because there is no easy way to clarify.
Secret menu items are a recent development in a long history of us buying things that feel exclusive. Unfortunately, the exclusivity often extends beyond the consumer to those involved in the production of the item.
I know a server who created a custom pizza. He calls it the Sweaty Cowboy. In a sense, this is a secret menu item because workers at that specific restaurant will understand and make the order despite it not being described on the menu. If I go to a pizza shop less than a mile away and ask for a Sweaty Cowboy, I will be met with confused looks, disgust, and potentially a trespass order.
To assign a name to a secret menu item rather than describing modifications represents our need to reduce and simplify our communication, often to the detriment of understanding.
I give secret menu items two stars.