What Makes Me Stunningly Gorgeous: A Satire Anthology

By Draven St.George

(Photo of me on America's Next Top Model, made by me)

While reading these short poems about beauty, please ask yourself the important questions: Is beauty subjective? Should I value other’s beauty over my own? Why am I so stunningly gorgeous?

Thank you for your time.

Pretty Face

Sleek black hair like Dawn commercial oil spills

Dark eyes like the Christmas coal of crying kids

Rinsed teeth like marshmallows in poorly made hot cocoa

Picturesque dimples like the movie “Holes” ft. Shia LaBeouf

Beauty and grace

Pretty face

But she is also a raccoon

Girl of Your Dreams

Hair down to her knees to tie into ribbons

So she’ll trip into your arms

You’ll take her to her dream destination

That is under forty dollars

Her long hair covers her blank face

Only to reveal

The man underneath

(Image from blackyouthproject.com)

Barbie Doll Endeavors

Get me the doll with the prettiest skin

(Maybe we should just get a stuffed animal)

Get me the doll with the most amazing hair

(How to teach my kids subjective versus objective)

Get me the doll with the prettiest eyes

(Does she based beauty off of herself or her peers?)

Get me the doll that doesn’t look like me

(Thank goodness, my child isn’t conceited)

Marital Money Status

I’m looking for a man

With nice short money

Whose money is stylish

Who has the most beautiful money

And whose money makes me laugh

I’m looking for money

I just want money

Take beauty for not what it is, but what it could be. Make beauty the standard by treating everyone like they are the normal depiction of “gorgeous.”